dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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