Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize