this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize