that's an acceptable place to lick
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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