how can u be prego again
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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