Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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