My room smells like vodka and shame
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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