youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are the jesus of drinking
Come share oat with me in your robe
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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