what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize