i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize