In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
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I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
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You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize