hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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