she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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