so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
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Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
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Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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