I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He felt like a one man threesome
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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