he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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