Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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