come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize