so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize