Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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