Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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