That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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