i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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