Are we in a gay sports bar?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize