I accidentally burped into my bong.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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