I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
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I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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