Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he told me I talked like a deaf person
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Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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