VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
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