nut hugger
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My life is pants optional.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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