Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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