my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize