I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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