erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
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I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
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The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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