Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize