I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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