she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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