everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize