i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize