I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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