i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize