he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Pants are for mortals
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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