Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize