My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just puked most of my soul out..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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