dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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