Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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