she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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