My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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