but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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