I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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