then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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